50 Ways to Worry Less Now by Gigi Langer PhD

Author:Gigi Langer PhD
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: how to stop worrying; overcoming anxiety and stress; positive thinking; negative self-talk; addiction recovery; healthy relationships; stopping drinking
Publisher: Possum Hill Press
Published: 2018-02-20T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 5

USING GROWTH PRACTICES

TO RECOVER YOUR TRUE SELF

Strategy Four

You do not become good by trying to be good,

but by finding the goodness that is already within you

and allowing that goodness to emerge.

—Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening

to Your Life's Purpose

How connected are you with your true self, the you that lies in your heart, not your head? Your true self is unfettered by old wounds; it’s courageous, generous, and powerful enough to fulfill your dreams. Too often, however, these assets lie buried under the damage left by a critical parent, competitive sibling, mean-spirited teacher, abusive relative, debilitating illness, or dysfunctional family.

Such experiences contribute to what Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung called the shadow-self. This unconscious negativity is the author of your deepest worries and false beliefs. Jung and most experts agree that denying the existence of your shadow increases its damaging effects on your life.

The good news is the strongest and most valuable aspects of your personality have never left you; they are only temporarily hidden by your shadow’s fear and pain. As you honestly face your whispered lies, claim positive power, choose a desired future, and use growth practices, you clear the way to express your true self in the world.

Here you’ll see how I healed several layers of my shadow by facing my most secret and debilitating childhood experience. As I used growth tools to overcome my hidden pain and fears, I gained a new outlook on life—one of hope, love, and peace.

A New Pair of Glasses

Because our minds naturally focus on worry’s whispered lies, we need growth practices to help us see people and situations from a new perspective. Think of it as putting on a new pair of glasses. Without them, all you see is an intimidating and threatening world. With your glasses on, though, you see a peaceful place beyond your whispered lies.

When you’re facing confusion, conflict, or other troubles, begin by honestly admitting that your perception is distorted by the fearful aspects of your issue. Ask your positive power to change your point of view, perhaps by saying that you reject your false beliefs and want to see things differently.

Rumi, the thirteenth-century Persian poet and Sufi mystic, wrote, “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing is a field. I will meet you there.” Figure 5.1 illustrates how looking “beyond the contours” of your fears leads you to a field where a new perspective lies.

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